Besides being a professional athlete, I have another job. I work at a hospital primarily in trauma and surgery. I have worked in that type of setting for 10 years now, and I love it. I have to clarify that by saying that I don't love the pain I see---mental, physical, and spiritual. Even now people still break my heart. Back when I started, my coworkers told me I would "harden up," but that never really happened. It hurts me, but it's good for my patients because I literally feel their pain. For me, I try to take some of it away from them.
Last week, I radiographed a beautiful 3 week-old baby who had beautiful parents. In fact, I remember remarking that daddy looked like that Polo model, Tyrese. Anyway, the beautiful tiny being in my hands had the flu. He had it bad, coming in with his own personal oxygen tank. I pitied him having to struggle so hard so early in his little life. I shot the films which showed his small lungs filled with fluid.
Today I came into work, and my coworker told me she had remembered this child because of my remarks about his father. She went on to tell me that she just read the baby's name in the obituary section of our local newspaper. My smile faded, and I thought immediately of the parents. I can't even imagine...
Tonight, also, a woman came in with her sister. Her sister had recently gotten the flu shot and had also contracted the flu (not from the shot). She's a nurse. Last night she fell in the bathroom because she was so weak, so tonight sister brought her in. Her flu had turned into full-blown bilateral (both lungs) pnuemonia. She will probably die. She's only 54. Sometimes people in the medical field are their own worst enemy. Being a nurse you'd think she would have nipped this flu thing in the bud, but she probably decided to just wait it out. Had she not fallen down she surely would have died. Now she has a chance to live albeit a small chance. Her sister is so distraught, face red, eyes swollen, dumbfounded by the chain of events.
These nights are the hardest for me. Facing death in my path sometimes getting blindsided by it. Most of the time I feel like I can almost will it away, but sometimes I fail. All part of life, I guess, but these patients become part of MY life.

My family is predominantly Catholic, and I am a lesbian. I choose not to hide who I am. I don't go around sporting a giant rainbow on my forehead, but I don't lie to people when the subject of my sexuality is brought up NOT that it's any of their business. I chose this stance because I felt that if I acted ashamed about who I was then other people would be ashamed also. If I acted as though homosexuality was an abnormality then other people would feel justified in feeling that it is. So, when my father asked me if I was gay a couple of years ago I told him that I was. I know this has been hard on him, but he has been as understanding as he could possibly be. The older I get the more I realize just what a best friend he is. Of course, my aunt, and my grandfather, and also my father believe in the procreation theory whereby God created the female to be entered by the male thus creating a child. Well, yes, if everyone was meant to bear children then I suppose that theory would hold up; HOWEVER, I don't believe we were all put here on Earth to procreate. Just think if we did how overpopulated we would be---how many more problems we would have. There are those of us who don't feel the need to bear children. God has other plans for us, and that's okay. I'm not sure why people hold on to the belief that we are all here in order to have more of us in order to have more of us etc. etc. etc. I don't recall the Bible saying that. We are here to do God's work whatever that may be, and only He knows because I think for each of us that work is different. Mind you, this is only my own personal opinion.
I can't explain my attraction to women; it's just there kind of like heterosexuals are attracted to their opposite sex. I'm tired of trying to explain myself. I realize that it is difficult for people to understand, but really it's quite a simple phenomenon. I think the hardest part for my family to deal with is the fact that I was married, and before I was married I had lots of boyfriends. I, myself, never felt a lesbian inkling. Then all of a sudden I had a dream, and everything changed. It happened just like that.
People who knew my ex-husband and I as a couple had a hard transition to make, but they made it. I've opened myself up to all sorts of questions, and I actually welcome that. I can't close off my friends or family and just say, "This is the way I am, so just accept it." That's not fair. I want to help them understand, and that's all I can do. The rest is up to them. My friends have been great, and family is trying really really hard which I appreciate not only for me but for any other gay person who happens to cross their path.
For some, homosexuality is a choice, but for most I believe it is what it is. How do you explain 4 year old Johnny wanting to play with dolls and wanting to wear dresses? How do you explain these young kids being attracted to their own sex? These are clearly NOT choices. When I asked my dad to explain these things he said, "I don't know."
I don't wake up every day and choose to be attracted to women. It's just how I feel. I challenge all of my heterosexual friends and family to just up and change their sexual preference. Could they do it? No. Can I? No. So, it's not a choice with me either. Something in me makes me feel the way I feel, just like something in them makes them feel the way they feel.